-I study my boys faces, their little hands and feet, and try to record their little voices and laughs in my mind as if I am studying for the nursing boards.
-I aim to be completely present. Even when I would rather not be..
-I do not want to look back with regret on these formative years of raising God's children and feel guilt over working too much, yelling too much, cleaning too much, being engaged in my phone, computer, etc. too much.
-I decided when I was a new mom, that I would let go of my obsession of having a spotless house. I don't want my children to hear me constantly nagging them about keeping the house clean. I want them to play with abandon. Then clean up at the end of the day:)
-I aim to praise them to the point of looking nuts! I love the look on Cohen's face when I act like a total goofball, and dance, and jump up and down over his accomplishments.
-I carry both of them at the same time at least once a day (when I am home). I won't be able to do this forever.
-I get Cohen out of bed in the middle of the night sometimes and I put him in bed with me to cuddle. Sutton's almost big enough for this.
-I have recently started rocking and reading to each of my boys separately. I want to know both of them, I want them to each know that I am madly in love with them, that I have alone time for each of them. That each of them have their very own, special place in their Mommy's heart.
Oh how much I love that time. Cohen and I sing songs and rock after we read the book he picks out. Cohen loves to sing. Right now his favorites are "Jesus Loves Me," "The Rainbow Song" (it's really two songs..Blue Skies and Rainbows, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow), the Barney song, Lord's Army, and Happy Birthday.
He is such a tender-hearted soul. He gives hugs and kisses freely. When he hits, pushes, or steals a toy from Sutton, he tells on himself. When he gets in trouble and cries, he says, "uh-oh Mommy!" and points to his tears. I kiss them off his little face, then he smiles and goes off to play again.
I often times struggle with Mommy Guilt over working so much and not being as present as I would like to be. I see mommies and their little toddlers and babies in the airport and, often times, I fight back tears because I am longing to be with my boys. When I get too overwhelmed with guilt and missing my boys, I just pray.. alot.
I pray that I am being the best I can be, and that I am right where God means for me to be.