Thursday, July 17, 2014

Its Been Way Too Long..

I have been trying to be Supermom for way too long.
I work at least 36 hours a week, but most often more than that.
I have an obsession with keeping my house clean, laundry put away, dishes clean and beds made.
I go without sleep for 24 hours one day a week.
All of this for what?

I spend less time with my kids,
Less time with my husband,
And less time with my Father
Because I am trying to be perfect in every aspect of my life.
Yet, I am failing.

Do my kids care if our house is spotless?
Does my husband care if I cook dinner and keep up the laundry?
Does God care about any of this?

I know the answer. It came to me like a thief in the night this week.
These years are fleeting. With my husband and our boys.
I prayed and I cried out to God yesterday over this.
"Please show me how to slow down and savor each day with the ones I love.
Help me to release the addiction to pursue perfection. Help me to find perfection in
You and You alone."

I promise myself, Chad, the boys, and my Creator that I will not put my house cleaning above
any of them. I will not be the Pinterest Perfect Mom that I often desire to be. I will only promise to be
fully present in my family's lives.
"There's a temptation to multi-task everything, but you can't multi-task presence."
                                                                                                         -Cindy Crawford

These things I want to never forget

These are happenings of our lives from the Winter of 2013-Summer of 2014

-"It's what I have to!"
Everytime we ask either of the boys "why" they did something, they both answer with, "It's what I had/have to!" Sutton started this little saying and Cohen now copies him.

-Cohen peeing on tire at gas station
The three of us stopped to get gas at Kroger on the way home from a busy morning. Cohen had to pee. I started the gas pump, left Sutton in the car, and Cohen and I went to the bathroom. It was occupied. Cohen started to panic. He said he had to go "so very bad." I told him to just pull down his pants and pee. He did just that. Peed right on the front tire of my car. And the gas station was people waiting in line, crowded.
-"I wuv you mommy" in the night and first thing in the morning
As soon as Sutton wakes up the first thing he says is "I wuv you, Mommy.'
We let him sleep with us recently (he rarely gets too because he tosses and turns too much) and he woke up 3 times during the night, grabbed my cheeks, and said, "I wuv you, Mommy!" He still is very much a Momma's boy, but still doesn't like to be cuddled.
-The way Sutton spits when he's mad
Literally every time I picked Sutton up from preschool and Sunday school, I would ask him if he was good.
His response every time, "No. I hit and spit and sayed bad words." I asked the teachers after a couple of weeks of him telling me this if it were true. They all told me he is a perfect child and does nothing bad. He's such a little turkey. On the way home from dinner one night, Cohen said, "Sutton is hitting and spitting." I said, "Sutton, are you hitting and spitting and saying bad words?" Cohen, "No, he's just hitting and spitting."
Sutton had not said anything to defend himself, and had sat quietly in the back seat. Then he said, "Poo-poo!" Chad and I laughed out loud. Sutton wanted to be sure he also said a bad word.
-Both boys still say Oot when they want to be held
The boys are now 2.5 and 4 years old, yet they still both say "oot me" when they want to be held or carried. I love this!
-S telling me that bear was cats "grandma"
Sutton asked Chad to get his "daddy." Chad said, "Im right here, buddy." Sutton said, "no, my other Daddy. Right there on the floor.' He has a bear named Daddy. Recently he has added a sister and a second daddy to his little family.
-Me falling asleep under Christmas tree
The week before Thanksgiving I had great plans to put up the Christmas tree after I got off of work. I knew I had to stay awake all day with the boys so I wanted to be sure to stay busy so I could stay awake. I got out the old Christmas tree that Mike and Rita had when they first married, and started to put it up in the playroom. I had it assembled and "fluffed" when I realized it was crooked. I sat on the floor to adjust the base and the tree fell on me. I was so exhausted from working the night before that I just allowed myself to lay there with the tree on top of me. It was almost comfortable. I fell asleep. I have no idea how long I was asleep under that tree....It could've been 2 minutes, it could've been 30. I just woke up to the boys' voices saying, "What's mommy doing? Mommy, why are you under the tree?" Then their little hands were reaching through the branches to touch me.


Sunday, January 26, 2014

Praying for another..

I have always wanted a lot of kids. If it were up to me, I would have at least 5. But I would need a different husband since Chad is NOT up for that many.
Our first two are 19 months apart. I wanted a third to be that age gap too, but Chad said, "H%ll no!'
He has said he "isn't ready for another boy." I understand what he is saying. God made boys to be rowdy, wild, little explorers who love dirt and bugs. And I love being a boy mom, but it is physically exhausting some days.
I have been politely asking for another baby for several months now, and I am hoping to get my wish soon.

But, don't mention this to Chad if you talk to him;)

We have a new "Grandma!'

Two weeks ago Chad and I heard Sutton talking after we put him to bed. I thought I heard him saying something about a "grandma." We have no "Grandma" in our family on either side. I am not even sure where Sutton heard this name.....
So I walked in his room and said, "Sutton, who are you talking to?"
Sutton answered, "Bear Cat's Grandma"
Remember that he has been attached to a bear and a cat since he was 5 months old. Yet, he can't have one without the other, hence the name Bear Cat.
Me: "Bear Cat has a grandma?"
S: "Yes, this (pointing to a brown bear that he's been asking to sleep with recently) is Cat's Grandma. Give Grandma a kiss."
I kissed Grandma, kissed Sutton, then went and told Chad about Sutton's new friend:)

This boy of ours..... He is something else. He can converse like a 5 year old and he's only 2! And he's never been a cuddler, but in the last 2 weeks, he wakes up from his 3 hour nap and wants me to "oot" (hold) him while he holds his Bear Cat and watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He lays down on my chest, sucks his right thumb and holds Bear Cat.
He also says, "I wuv you, Mommy!" 8 times a day on average. And he asks "Coco" to "hold my hand so I don't fall" when he walks down the stairs. And Cohen always does:)

Sutton gets to sleep in the other bed in Cohen's room a couple of nights a week. They talk and giggle for hours. Last week Cohen yelled, "Mommy, Sutton needs his Grandma!" Chad and I laughed at the funny request. I went to get "grandma" and I was walking thru the bathroom to Co's room, I heard Sutton say, "Its okay Bear Cat, my mommy is getting your grandma." Be still my heart!

Sutton told Nana last week that he was going to get his Grandma. He came back a few minutes later and told Nana, "I can't reach my Grandma. Go get HIM for me."
So..... Grandma is a HE. Even funnier!

I am hoping Grandma stays around for a few years:)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

New Year, New Me?

I am disappointed in my fitness level for 2013. I was the least physically active I have EVER been. 
I blame it on a busy work schedule, little sleep, and two, time-consuming toddler boys. I resolved to get myself in shape this year. So I started Crossfit. 
I did my first class tonight and let's say, I'm terrified of the intensity of Crossfit.
I'm so out of shape that I'm sure I'll be in excruciating pain and unable to walk for days! And I am sure I'll faint and throw up sometime in the next month of classes. I'm promising to give it a month to see if it's for me or not. 
I took my measurements tonight to see where I am. 
C- 34
W- 26.5
H- 36
Wt- 117
I'm not necessarily expecting to loose inches or weight...I'm not sure what to expect. I just wanted to see how my body changes in 4 weeks.
I'd love to have someone join me twice a week.
Anyone interested?....